Monday, February 19, 2007
Oh, Say Can You COUNT?
Pet Peeve time. Blame it on the season.
Memo to all singers of "The Star Spangled Banner": it's a SONG -- it's supposed to be sung in TIME.
Confession: 201k has season's tickets to the Bruins. We go to a lot of games, and watch the rest on TV. We watch a lot of sports in general. We hear the National anthem a lot.
A lot.
And we've noticed that nearly everyone has abandoned any attempt to sing the song in time, choosing instead to stuff it full of vocal calisthenics, running up and down the scale pointlessly at every opportunity, like, "the bombs bursting in air-ai-aaaaaa-ai--aiaiaiaiaia--aaaaa--aa--aa--aa--aaaaaaaair..." until you begin to wonder if they'll ever find their way back to the one (they usually don't.)
Not that this isn't entertaining -- it's hilarious. The problem is that before each pointless calisthenic they have to take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath (in that most of them aren't Patti Labelle) and eventually give up even pretending to sing the song in time, instead approaching each tricky part like a series of jumps to be hurdled, like in a steeplechase.
[Note: Mrs. 201k, a rider, says we mean "dressage". Whatever. "Steeplechase" is funnier.]
Enough is enough. Knock it off, all of you.
Here's the plan: from now on, all singers of "The Star-Spangled Banner" must, while singing, imagine in their heads a loud "CLICK, CLICK, CLICK", and try to stay remotely in its vicinity while stuffing too many notes between the beats. Tapping one's foot will also be accepted.
The alternative is for 201k to shout it out -- loudly -- for you. And believe me, we will. We may even bring pots and pans to bang, just so you'll hear.
So consider yourself warned.
Memo to all singers of "The Star Spangled Banner": it's a SONG -- it's supposed to be sung in TIME.
Confession: 201k has season's tickets to the Bruins. We go to a lot of games, and watch the rest on TV. We watch a lot of sports in general. We hear the National anthem a lot.
A lot.
And we've noticed that nearly everyone has abandoned any attempt to sing the song in time, choosing instead to stuff it full of vocal calisthenics, running up and down the scale pointlessly at every opportunity, like, "the bombs bursting in air-ai-aaaaaa-ai--aiaiaiaiaia--aaaaa--aa--aa--aa--aaaaaaaair..." until you begin to wonder if they'll ever find their way back to the one (they usually don't.)
Not that this isn't entertaining -- it's hilarious. The problem is that before each pointless calisthenic they have to take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath (in that most of them aren't Patti Labelle) and eventually give up even pretending to sing the song in time, instead approaching each tricky part like a series of jumps to be hurdled, like in a steeplechase.
[Note: Mrs. 201k, a rider, says we mean "dressage". Whatever. "Steeplechase" is funnier.]
Enough is enough. Knock it off, all of you.
Here's the plan: from now on, all singers of "The Star-Spangled Banner" must, while singing, imagine in their heads a loud "CLICK, CLICK, CLICK", and try to stay remotely in its vicinity while stuffing too many notes between the beats. Tapping one's foot will also be accepted.
The alternative is for 201k to shout it out -- loudly -- for you. And believe me, we will. We may even bring pots and pans to bang, just so you'll hear.
So consider yourself warned.
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Mrs. 201k is wrong. Steeplechase *is* a series of jumps, generally over a long country race (the name comes from the fact that the races used to be run from one parish church to another, using the steeples of the churches as landmarks to keep the riders on track).
Dressage is a series of precise, controlled steps taken in a sort of dance pattern in a ring, designed to demonstrate the depth of the rider's control and display the horse's training and conformation to best effect.
Dressage is a series of precise, controlled steps taken in a sort of dance pattern in a ring, designed to demonstrate the depth of the rider's control and display the horse's training and conformation to best effect.
Wethinks that "a series of precise, controlled steps...designed to demonstrate the depth of the rider's control" is exactly what we mean in this scenario.
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