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Sunday, March 25, 2007

 

On Vacation...


...back soon.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

 

Compare and Contrast


Tuesday, March 20, 2007:Saturday, March 24, 2007:Yeah, you'd hate for the American people to be ill-served by making these people testify under oath.

Friday, March 23, 2007

 

It's the Little Things That Make Life Fun...


We've always enjoyed -- in a certain sense -- the expertise with which the White House and its flunkies craft language in pursuit of partisan unclarification. And we've very much enjoyed watching the President attempt to execute this language with varying degrees of success. It's nothing short of dazzling, the way members of this Administration can say things without actually saying them. It's also embarrassing and ethically horrific, but these are Republicans we're talking about, so ethics, like morals, don't really come into play -- it's results that matter, kid, so get out there and start repeating the message, word-for-word.

A small but amusing example popped up in the President's little speech the other day, in which he likened Congressional oversight of possible criminal activity in the Executive branch to "show trials."The dashes in the last paragraph indicate where the President realized he'd gotten the specific wording wrong, and back-tracked quickly to rephrase his sentence exactly as he'd been told to say it.

He'd inadvertantly begun to say that he "recognize[d] the importance of members of Congress having...[an] understanding [of] how and why this decision was made," when of course he can afford to recognize no such thing. What he could "recognize", putting himself back on script, was the "importance...Congress has placed on understanding how and why this decision was made." [Emphasis added].

Can't go around recognizing the role of Congress, can we? Recognizing the role Congress sees for itself -- that's ok, in some circumstances (like when you're polling 29% and facing the possibility of myriad corruption investigations.) But let's not go crazy and start lending rhetorical support to the idea of true public oversight. Next thing you know, you'll end up with the President's "staff" being accountable for the truth of the "advice" they give him.

Just think how different the last six years would have been if that had been the case.

 

As They Are All Honorable Men...


Hey, look:What we're wondering is how this prosecution ever happened; why didn't the Patriotic Knights at the White House and the Justice Department stop this "partisan fishing expedition aimed at honorable public servants"?

More importantly, why weren't the U.S. attorneys who pursued this matter busy doing real work -- like looking for "Democratic Party voter fraud" in places where Republicans lost elections?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

 

P.S. Screw You All...


President Bush's Theory as to why White House Officials should not have to testify before Congress:Translation: There is to be no mechanism for accountability. My right to "candid advice" supersedes the public's right to know whether United States attorneys were dismissed by my chief political advisor for failing to abuse their office in the pursuit of partisan objectives.

P.S. Screw You All.

Monday, March 19, 2007

 

Separated at Birth?


Judge Doom throttles Roger Rabbit:Judge Starr throttles Free Speech:

Sunday, March 11, 2007

 

What's Yours is Mine


Poor Reader K sends us this "News alert":Yeah, you'd hate to have to waste any of the money they've made off U.S. taxpayers on public education or something.

Friday, March 09, 2007

 

R.I.P. Brad Delp


Most knew him as the lead singer of Boston, but we'll always remember him as the singer in Beatlejuice.

Great singer. Really, really great singer.

 

Kids These Days


Ok, first some excerpts from a story in today's Times:Now, let's talk about "people who have zero conflict-resolution skills" in the context of what happened to us last night at the Bruins' game:

Shortly after the game started, four young men sat behind us. They were obviously, visibly drunk. Very, very drunk. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But within seconds, three of them began shouting at the game -- very loudly -- using language that was inappropriate even for a hockey game. Seated right next to them was a seven-year-old boy, at the game with his father, and all around them were women ranging in age from 20 to 50. The one sitting next to the seven-year-old said to the father, "You should probably move him, huh?"

We kid you not; that's what he said.

After about ten minutes of this we turned around and asked them to please watch their language, adding that everyone wanted to enjoy the game, but we wouldn't hesitate to get them tossed if it became necessary. This shut them up for about a period.

Unfortunately, they were drinking from bottles in their jackets, and by the start of the second period had decided they needed to make some sort of a statement. The language ramped back up -- and we're talking bottom-of-the-barrel stuff here -- and people again began to squirm in their seats. Out of the blue another young gentleman appeared in front of us to tell us that he and his buddy, who were seated behind the wrecking crew, were "with us all the way."

Feeling old and out of touch, we went to pee. The Bruins were down by at least a goal by that point, by the way.

When we got back to the ramp-way, the usher made us wait for play to stop, and lo, standing next to us was one of the gentleman in question. He decided to start bumping up against us, and slurring some trash talk. Amazed -- truly -- at this bad decision, we asked him how old he was, and he answered, "23", then repeatedly asked how old WE were. He was too legless to notice that the usher, who was freaking out, had run to get security. We said, "old enough to know better -- and you should probably get out of here before security shows up."

While his brain struggled to determine if our remark was the reaction he'd been trying to provoke, security showed up just as play stopped. We went back to our seat, and he pled his case to the boys in blue, leading, not surprisingly, to his ejection. Bear in mind we hadn't called security on him -- the usher did it when he started bumping into us.

But his buddies didn't see it that way. After failing to talk the police out of tossing their pal, the remaining two geniuses filed back to their seats glaring at us. It should noted that the fourth one -- we'll call him D'Artagnan -- had not been part of the screaming and swearing, had been quietly pleading with them (to no avail) to "knock it off" and was now trying Very Hard to look like he was sitting with the people on his opposite side; it was actually funny watching him try to come up with a face that simultaneously said, "I can't believe they're doing this to you" to his friends, and "Will you PLEASE remove these ruffians?" to the police.

His pals weren't as smart. While one gave us his best, "We'll see what happens to YOU" look, the other said, "You got my brother tossed!" We turned around and said, "He got himself tossed, and--" which is when security re-descended and removed all of them, including D'Artagnan, who surreptitiously apologized as he filed out.

"We seem to be dealing with an awful lot of people who have zero conflict-resolution skills." No kidding.

Look, we were once a drunk 23-year-old at Bruins' games -- we had lots of drunk 23-year-old friends at Bruins' games, and we understand. But even we knew enough to...oh man, we don't even know how to explain it. There doesn't seem to be a line some of these kids won't cross anymore. Drunk and clueless doesn't begin to cover it. Nearly every week we see one of them decide to take on the entire Boston police department (with predictable results.) We're pretty sure that as bad as we were in our day, when the police showed up we and our friends knew enough to scram; these kids go toe-to-toe with them.

Every little issue escalates into a confrontation; glares in line turn to pushing, then to fights; the police show up and they don't even know enough to run.

What the hell is going on? It's like they all think they're living in the WWF.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

 

Ah, the Love of a Good Man...


There's nothing like it.



Just look at this "before and after" example:


Lisa Nowak is charged with attempting to kidnap a woman she believed was her rival for the affection of space shuttle pilot Bill Oefelein.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

 

Yeah, Yeah...


...we still say he'll walk on appeal.

Monday, March 05, 2007

 

Libby's Salvation...


The jury in Scooter Libby's trial sent this note to the judge on Friday:In other words, there is at least one total knucklehead on the jury.

Libby will be dancing in the streets soon.

Friday, March 02, 2007

 

Why...


...are nearly all the frozen organic vegetables sold in Whole Foods and Wild Oats from China?

Can't we grow vegetables here anymore? Is it really cheaper to ship frozen peas from China to Boston than from, say, western Massachusetts or New York?

And how, exactly, do we know that broccoli grown in China is "organic"?

Speaking of which, where, exactly, is this bucolic image of "Cascadia Farms" supposed to be:



...because most of their vegetables seem to come from China, too. Which is odd, considering that Cascadia Farms' parent company is named "Small Planet Foods." You can't actually get much farther away from here, planet-wise, than China.

Unless you decide to get organic vegetables from Uranus.

Oh, look: Small Planet's parent company is General Mills.

This might explain why Wal-Mart has announced it'll be selling organic produce in its stores. No doubt it's coming from the same place they get everything else.

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