Welcome to 201k.com - A Commonwealth Perspective.

...obviously.

Well, President Bush had his routine colonoscopy this week. Doctors removed five polyps.

But what else, we wondered, might they have found up there?

To answer this question we ask the eternal question:

What Did Doctors Find Up George W. Bush's Ass?

a) The weapons of mass destruction
b) His head
c) Ronald Reagan
d) Three baggies of cocaine from a 1983 trip to Cancun
e) Dick Cheney's car keys
f) Tony Blair's political legacy
g) Civilization as we know it
h) All of the above.

Cast your vote! Let us know what you think doctors found...

Up George W. Bush's Ass...

Major league umpires are giving Daisuke Matsuzaka the business.

We've watched every game he's pitched, and all these walks are not his fault. He's had some control problems, but more often than not he's come back with pin-point pitches that are somehow just not good enough.

Frankly, we're amazed he's kept his composure as well as he has.

Message to the big-league umps: ok, you've made your point, whatever the hell it is. Now knock it off.

As an aside: we went to Google Translate, translated this post from English to Japanese, then back again, and here's what we got:

It is all right -- We and say that: [anpaiya] of the measure league has given business to Daisuke Matsuzaka. We threw him, as for these walking looking at all games which entirely are not that defect. He possessed a certain control problem, but it is not good little, sufficiently how doing, it is returned with fair accurate pitch. Candidly, as for us he has, in addition being surprised, him it is that composure which is maintained. The message to of the highest umps: As for those where the hell that is, it was understood with anything, your point was made. Now hit that.

So there. Guess we told them.

Still amazed at this Bush quote in yesterday's column from punch-me-face-prep David Brooks:

Bush is convinced that history is moving in the direction of democracy, or as he said Friday: "It's more of a theological perspective. I do believe there is an Almighty, and I believe a gift of that Almighty to all is freedom. And I will tell you that is a principle that no one can convince me that doesn't exist."

Understand that by "moving in the direction of democracy" both Bush and Brooks refer, in this context, to their continued support for Bush's war in Iraq.

When you're defending the indefensible, it's always best to speak in abstractions.

But the most amazing part -- well, it isn't really amazing anymore, since it's the same sort of despicable thing they've been doing since day one of his "presidency", but it still gets our heads shaking every time they do it -- is what follows:

"I will tell you that is a principle that no one can convince me that doesn't exist."

Get it? If you don't support Bush's war in Iraq -- or any of his vague and ever-shifting rationales for it -- you're actually questioning the existence of "the Almighty's" "gift" of "freeedom." And, possibly, the existence of "the Almighty" himself.

This is the defense offered of his extremist and disastrous foreign policies in general, and the war in Iraq in specific, by the president of the United States and his army of poop-throwing monkeys in the press: if you don't agree with me, you're rejecting God's gift of freedom.

This much we know: if there's an Almighty -- and we don't know any better than George W. Bush if there is -- then it stands to reason that somewhere the departed souls of the dead still exist, just like people have always imagined they do. Maybe even flying around the clouds with wings and harps -- who knows?

If they do exist, and if among them are the Founding Fathers of this country, and if the Almighty allows them to hear the current president of the Unites States defending his policies by aligning himself with, and loyal Americans who disagree with him against, "the Almighty's gift of freedom," then by all the powers of creation may the Fathers come back and give that tin-horned dissembling twit disgracing their office and this country the thrashing he deserves.

Not even his Daddy could get him out of that one. Either Daddy.

Hmmm.

Heroes and History

July 17, 2007

By DAVID BROOKS

I spent the first four days of last week interviewing senators about Iraq. The mood ranged from despondency to despair. Then on Friday I went to the Roosevelt Room in the White House to hear President Bush answer questions on the same subject. It was like entering a different universe.

I left the 110-minute session thinking that far from being worn down by the past few years, Bush seems empowered. His self-confidence is the most remarkable feature of his presidency.

...his self-confidence survives because it flows from two sources. The first is his unconquerable faith in the rightness of his Big Idea. Bush is convinced that history is moving in the direction of democracy, or as he said Friday: "It's more of a theological perspective. I do believe there is an Almighty, and I believe a gift of that Almighty to all is freedom. And I will tell you that is a principle that no one can convince me that doesn't exist."

Second, Bush remains energized by the power of the presidency. Some presidents complain about the limits of the office. But Bush, despite all the setbacks, retains a capacious view of the job and its possibilities.

He is confident in his ability to read other leaders: Who has courage? Who has a chip on his shoulder? And he is confident that in reading the individual character of leaders, he is reading the tablet that really matters. History is driven by the club of those in power. When far-sighted leaders change laws and institutions, they have the power to transform people.

Now what was that study reported in the Times a few years ago...

Oh yes, here it is:

January 18, 2000

Among the Inept, Researchers Discover, Ignorance Is Bliss

By ERICA GOODE

There are many incompetent people in the world. Dr. David A. Dunning is haunted by the fear he might be one of them.

Dr. Dunning, a professor of psychology at Cornell, worries about this because, according to his research, most incompetent people do not know that they are incompetent.

On the contrary. People who do things badly, Dr. Dunning has found in studies conducted with a graduate student, Justin Kruger, are usually supremely confident of their abilities -- more confident, in fact, than people who do things well.

One reason that the ignorant also tend to be the blissfully self-assured, the researchers believe, is that the skills required for competence often are the same skills necessary to recognize competence.

The incompetent, therefore, suffer doubly, they suggested in a paper appearing in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

''Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it,'' wrote Dr. Kruger, now an assistant professor at the University of Illinois, and Dr. Dunning.

Avril Lavigne has been accused by two singers from a 70's band named Rubinoos of ripping off their song "Boyfriend" for her song "Girlfriend."

Sounds to us like she ripped off Toni Basil, Joan Jett, the Stones, and Rubinoos.

But let's face it: everything on the radio sounds like it was cut-and-pasted from something else -- like they make music by writing old ideas on index cards, throwing them up in the air, and playing them in whatever order they pick them up -- so why start getting annoyed at it now?

Of course that's crazy; the people making the music on the radio couldn't write old musical ideas down on index cards. They obviously have some audio software that randomizes and re-writes pop music ideas for them. You play your old CDs into it, press a button, and it spits out a new "song."

Ok, so wee got a Wii. For 201k jr., of course.

After playing it for a while -- just to test it out -- we understand why people are getting sore, and experiencing "Wii elbow", as we've seen it called. But it isn't just because they're out-of-shape couch potatoes (although that probably doesn't help) -- it's that there's no resistance when you swing the wand.

In case you're playing this thing and you have absolutely no experience with sports, allow us to explain that it's a really bad idea to go through a throwing or swinging motion with insufficient resistance. Baseball players learn that from their dads early on. It's why you never, ever, throw a wiffleball too hard; the lack of resistance puts too much strain on your elbow.

Go easy with the thing, or you'll end up with elbow problems. Seriously.

He'd been in Allston for years, but he'll always be the Mayor of Kenmore Square to us.